Message summary: Today’s message considers friendships, positive and negative.

"Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever’” (1 Samuel 20:42). “That day Herod and Pilate became friends–before this they had been enemies” (Luke 23:12).

Brooksyne and I are blessed with many friends. As we’ve grown older we’ve come to increasingly place great value on long-term, lifelong friendships. Dave is a friend I've mentioned many times over the years as our friendship goes all the way back to first grade and we're still in touch with after over 60 years. Brooksyne also has childhood friends she expects to see when she visits Tulsa next month. Perhaps this message will prompt you to reminisce about longtime friends in your life.

Of course we also continue to develop new friendships along the way and expect that many of these will also become friends for life such as new friends we are meeting in our Sunday School class.

Friendships can be based on positive, constructive mutual interests such as the friendship between David and Jonathan.  That’s certainly the kind of friendship we value and strive for.

In a recent sermon our pastor shared how we all need both a Jonathan and a Nathan in our life. Jonathan was an encourager and Nathan brought needed rebuke following David's sin with Bathsheba. But truth be told we'd probably prefer more Jonathans than Nathans in our life, though we need both!

But friendships can also be based on negative, destructive interests such as the sudden and rather convenient friendship of Herod and Pilate in our daily text. Political interests can bring together people who otherwise have little in common. I’ve witnessed both positive and negative friendships and recall a time when I was pulled into the latter group. It was a learning experience for me and perhaps will be for others as well.


Prior to Christ’s trial Herod and Pilate were bitter political enemies. Both had ambitious agendas often in conflict with one another. They sought to gain Caesar’s favor as rulers over the troubled Palestinian region in the Roman Empire.

But the old phrase "politics makes strange bedfellows" is very evident in their relationship. At Christ’s trial they quickly became “friends”.  I can just see them grinning as they shook hands or patted one another on the back in their newly formed "friendship".  I believe the careful historian Luke is being sarcastic when he wrote "...Herod and Pilate became friends" as he qualifies their friendship when describing their prior relationship as having been enemies. He describes a very sad type of “friendship” that is common to this day, particularly in politics (and I’m not just speaking of the kind in Washington DC but politics that arise in workplaces, churches, even families).

What kind of friends do you have? What do you talk about when you get together? Is it positive and constructive as you share deeply held mutual interests and values? Or is it negative and destructive? Does your conversation build up or does it tear down? I sure don’t want Herod and Pilate to be my models for friendship. What about you?