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Pat Stillman
"Cancer - An Opportunity For Joy"

This is Pat Stillman's personal testimony referred to in our daily encouragement message "Thankful For The Detours" published on Wednesday November 21, 2012.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:2-4)

Dear family, wonderful friends, business partners, board members, and business associates,

I know that many of you have been praying for God's intervening in our lives, so I feel it my obligation to share with you the incredible journey of faith I have been on the last few weeks and how your prayers have been answered.

A few days before Memorial Day weekend, I started having pain in the middle of my back, mainly on the right side. I noticed it one morning when I sat down for breakfast. I like to put my feet up in the chair across from me and I felt the pain for the first time. I got up and went into the sun room and sat there and the pain was gone. As time wore on I noticed that the pain was getting more frequent every day and was finding that it did not matter where I sat or in what position I held myself the annoying pain was there.

On Thursday May 24th, I had a meeting at my house with my family physician and life time friend Dr Rich Niemeyer and another friend Dr. Vladimir Iakomi to discuss the combining of their practices.  During the meeting I told them the pain I was experiencing.  Around 9pm I told them I had to go to bed because of the back pain.  Because Rich had treated me for kidney stones in the past, Rich and Vladimir assumed that I was passing another stone. Rich came back on Friday and gave me a shot of demmeral that would relax the muscles and help the kidney stone pass.

On May 27th, Sunday morning, after a couple of days with no kidney stone passing and the pain persisting, Rich sent me to the Heart of Lancaster to get a CAT scan in order to see the progress of the stone. When Rich got the results on the following day, Monday, he was very surprised to see there was no evidence of a kidney stone anywhere. But he did notice that I had two enlarged lymph nodes in my right groin area. At that time Rich consulted with Dr Vladimir Iakomi, my dear Moldovan friend. Rich was thinking I should take a strong antibiotic for an infection in my lymph nodes. While not disagreeing, Vladimir suggested we should get a biopsy of the swollen lymph nodes just to make sure that an infection was the problem.  Rich agreed with Vladimir and immediately began working on getting an appointment for the biopsy.

Although I was not anxious to get the biopsy, out of respect for Vladimir and Rich, I agreed to have it done.  I got the lymph nodes biopsied that Wednesday. I needed to get all these things done as quickly as possible because I was leaving on Friday in our RV with Beulah, and my in-laws George and Joanne Cooper, and David Reinmiller pulling a 25 foot trailer loaded with seven motorcycles headed for Seattle, WA.  I was going to tour the West on motorcycles with my son Michael, my grandsons Bryce and Chase and their friend Austin, Lori Shannon's son, and Greg Funk, my pastor. The plan was for the girls to make the trip with us to Seattle and fly back home.  We would tour the Western Rockies as we rode the cycles back to PA, George and David would follow us in the RV so that we would always have a support vehicle and a port in a storm.

On Thursday Rich's initial results from the biopsy showed that I had an undetermined type of lymphoma. Although unhappy with the news, Rich was encouraged because lymphoma was easily treated. The question was should I make the trip? Rich saw no reason why I couldn't go ahead because it would take several days to find out which lymphoma I had, as there are 35 different types. So on Friday morning with everything loaded we got on the road at 10 am to Williamston, MI where our grandson Austin was competing in the individual division 2 high school state championships in the 110 hurdles, the 800m relay and the 1600m relay. We drove mainly through rain and the further west we got the colder it got. It wasn't looking like a very nice day for the track meet on Saturday. We got to our daughter Pamela's house at 10 pm and up the next morning at 7am getting ready to leave for the track meet at 8:15. The day turned out to be not so bad, partly sunny and cool.  We had great seats for the meet, and our grandson Austin set a new school record while winning the championship in the 110m hurdles. It turned out to be a great day.

On Sunday we got on the road by 8am, we had a long way to go to get to Seattle by Tuesday night. For the most part we were enjoying beautiful weather, and spent the night in Grand Island,NE. Monday morning was absolutely beautiful we got on the road at 7:30, had lunch in Cheyenne, WY where we pick up Interstate 25N continuing on to Billings, MT. I did most of the driving. It help me to not think of the pain in my back.

The RV gave us some concern on the mountain passes as it was running hotter than normal, other than that things were just great. It was sunny, the vistas were expansive and exhilarating. In Billings, MT we stayed at the Crown Plaza which was the tallest building at 22 stories high. I couldn't help but reminisce about the fact that I had played football there about 50 years ago when Utah played University of Montana. Montana from my memory looked a lot more prosperous today than it did 51 years ago. We had a wonderful breakfast on the 22nd floor overlooking the city and got on the road at 8am headed for Seattle.

We were enjoying the trip and the fellowship together singing hymns and choruses and telling old stories as we rolled along. Late that afternoon I got a call from Rich, we were in Eastern Idaho, I joyfully answered the phone, "Hey Rich, how am I doing?" Rich replied, "Not so good." I said "Really?" Rich asked me to get Beulah on the phone with me. So we went to the back of the RV and I had Beulah sit beside me and put my mobile phone on speaker. Richard proceeded telling me that I had a very rare form of skin cancer called merkel cell carcinoma and asked me if I had ever noticed a pimple like nodule on my right leg. I had never noticed anything like that. So he asked Beulah to examine my right leg looking for what he described as a merkel cell carcinoma as it would appear on my leg. Beulah could find nothing. We reported that to Rich and he said that was good. The research shows that when you don't find the original source of merkel cell carcinoma, the treatment results are better. As we discussed this on the phone, it was decided that I should fly back the next day with Beulah and Joanne, her sister.

We called Rob, our youngest son and told him what was happening. He bought a ticket for me on Beulah's flight on Southwest as we spoke.  He told me he would go online looking for the best treatment options for merkel cell as we continued on to Seattle.  I then called Michael, our oldest son, and told him the latest news.  He suggested canceling the trip.  I said you have the RV out here with the cycles, you have this planned.  This is a trip with your sons and I don't want to stop it.  Obviously I very much want to be with you, but that is not to be this time. Meanwhile, back in PA, Greg and Bev (his wife) were praying that Greg would have a chance to see me in the Seattle airport. Greg was getting in at 10:30am. I was flying out at 11:15am.

We arrived in Seattle, no problem, cloudy and rain. Found our hotel with some difficulty, our plan was to take the hotel shuttle to the airport the next morning.  We got to bed around 10:30pm and we both had a great night's sleep. Wednesday June 6th was a beautiful, sunny, cool day in Seattle.  We had a nice breakfast together and left for the airport in the shuttle at 9 am.  After checking in our bags and going through security, being a hip replacement person I now get a full massage as I go through security,  compared to what I was facing it didn't seem all that bad. Once I was through security I went to find out Greg’s arrival gate.  I was discouraged when I saw that he was coming in on concourse E and I was flying out on concourse B.  At first I thought I would go to his gate, but then found out I had to take a train to get to concourse E, it wasn't going to work.  I resigned myself to the fact that our meeting wasn't going to happen.  So we proceeded to B7 and waited for the boarding of our flight to Baltimore.  About 10:15, I received a call from Greg.  He told me that they had changed his arrival gate to B6 and he was there in the back of the plane waiting to get off.  I couldn't believe it.  Only God has that kind of power.  Greg's coming in immediately across the concourse of where I was going out.  It was a great time of joy for me to watch Greg walk out, have a time of fellowship and prayer before I left for home.  It was one of those heavenly kisses, as my good friend David Abel calls it, that God gives us to let us know that we are in His hand.

Before I got on the plane Mike called me and asked me how I was getting home from Baltimore. I told him I thought Rob would probably pick us up. He said he was flying out of Baltimore, why don't you just drive my truck home. That will save Michelle the trip of taking me down and coming back.  What a great idea.  That is the kind of stuff I usually think of, I guess it is in the genes.  Mike sent me a text telling me what parking lot he was in, where his truck was located and where he had hidden the keys with a picture to boot.  Aren't texts wonderful?

As I boarded the plane, I was expecting it to be a light flight because Rob had so easily gotten my ticket about 12 hours before flight time and was surprised to hear the announcement on the plane that the flight was completely sold out.  I couldn't help but think how God had saved a seat for me.  I was starting to be overwhelmed by even considering that the God of the Universe had everything under control down to the slightest detail.  What an amazing God, and He cares for me.

As we were making our approach to land in Baltimore, Beulah said to me "Why don't you get the truck while we pick up the baggage?"  I was kind of surprised that she said that, that's usually my idea.  So when we disembarked, I immediately caught the bus for parking lot B, followed the directions Mike gave me and found his truck without a misstep.  The girls have just got on the island with the luggage a minute before I pulled up.  The plan worked as if it was predesigned.

When we were driving home, Rob called and said I had an appointment at Fox Chase Cancer Center in Philadelphia tomorrow June 7th, at 10:30 am for a PET scan and an appointment with Dr. Farma at 2:00 pm. A PET scan is a procedure where they inject radioactive sugar water into your blood and then scan your body for cancer, because cancer tumors require lots of energy the sugar water rushes to the tumors and makes them stand out.  This would give Dr. Farma the information he would need to plan his attack on this very formidable foe. Merkel cell is a very fast acting and aggressive skin cancer, and Dr. Farma is a leading authority on Merkel cell. We got home from Baltimore at about 9:30 pm.

8:15 am Thursday  morning June 7th, Suzi, our youngest daughter, was at our back door. "Are you ready to go big guy?" was her question.  "Ready as ever," I replied.  We loaded up in her car and were on the way.  Fox Chase is located in northeast Philadelphia right off Cottman Avenue.  I was surprised when I got there at how big it was and at how awful some of the patients looked.  It was not pretty.  The people were friendly and very helpful in finding our way to imaging where the procedure took place.  They gave me a shot of radioactive sugar water and I waited 45 minutes before they took me into the scan area.  Where I disrobed except for my shorts and put on that awful looking hospital gown.  Then they placed me in the tube machine.  I was in the tube for about an hour.  I had to work really hard to calm myself.  You see I was laying there and I was strapped in.  I couldn't move and they told me to be very still.  I started thinking "What if they have a fire and everybody runs out and forgets about me?  How am I going to get out of here?"  I thought, I wonder if this is what it is like to be buried alive.  I said to myself, "Self are you an idiot?"  You have been watching God do all these things in your life.  He gave you the back pain so that they would find your cancerous lymph nodes; He got you a seat on the plane back with your wife.  He even arranged for your pastor to have prayer with you before you left Seattle.  And now you are worried that He is going to desert you in this tube?"  I calmed my mind by revisiting all the things that were happening over which I had absolutely no control. By the time I go through this process, the test was over and I was on my way to see Dr. Farma.

I was ushered into one of Dr. Farma’s examining rooms and waited for the Dr. to appear.  Beulah, Suzie, and Rob were waiting with me.  The first person to come into the room was Dr. Rodrigous, Dr. Farma’s assistant, he had an accent and I thought that he might be from Central America.  He wanted to examine my right leg right away.  He pulled each of my toes apart looking for any indication of Merkel.  Boy, was I relieved when everything was clean between my toes.  I wouldn’t want them think I was some kind of hillbilly from Lancaster.

Shortly thereafter, Dr. Farma arrived.  Dr Farma is a small man with a very unassuming presence.  By the time I got there he had already studied my PET scan results and was pleased to tell me that they did not see any sign of cancer any other place in my body.  He told me several times that this was excellent news.  In fact it was the best good news I could have hoped for.  I didn't even know why they were doing the test.  Sometimes stupid is good.  He examined my right leg thoroughly.  As he studied my leg he questioned me about this Dr. Neimen from Lancaster.  Wanted to know what kind of relationship we had because Rich had pushed so hard to make things happen.  In fact, he said Rich had been a real advocate for me.  I realized Rich had worked very hard to make all of this happen.  Can you believe it?  God was using Dr. Rich in His grand plan.

Rob asked when he could perform the surgery, Dr. Farma replied that he thought that they could work it in the next two or three weeks.  Rob replied, my Dad’s oldest granddaughter is getting married in Jackson, WY on July 28th, will he be able to travel at that time?  The Dr. thought for a moment and said,” I need to check something”, and left the room.  A short time later he came back in and announced that the surgery could be performed on Monday at 1pm.  And then I was sent to get all of the PREOP work done to be ready for Monday.  It was about 5:30pm when we pulled out of Fox Chase cancer center.  All the way home I just keep thinking about what had just happened, what a great God!

Friday June 8th was a beautiful day. You guessed it. I called my best golfing buddy, Rob, to set up a time to play.  I had new rules.  I have to play before 10am or after 4pm.  I had to wear long pants, a long sleeve shirt, a brim hat and minimum 70+ sun block.  I arrived at the course for a 2pm tee off.  Our good friend Larry Spangler was there to play with us.  Rob sprayed my head, neck, ears, face, hands and ankles.  I was cheating on the time a little so we lathered up on sun block, and the game was on.  We had a great time enjoying the fellowship, being in God's beautiful creation and having a little competition to boot.  By the 18th hole I was glad to go home.  Couldn't help but wonder if that would be the last time I would play, and if it was I was thankful for all the good times playing golf.  By the time I got home I had come to the conclusion that I better forget about golf until I have recovered from my upcoming surgery.  That night I had a tough time sleeping, no matter which way I turned I was hurting.

Saturday June 9th, was another gorgeous day, but golf was out of the question.  I had a great devotional reading and prayer time as I sat in the swing by the pool and waterfall.  Jim Hanselman had landscaped the whole area and I was just enjoying the beauty.  Jim told me it would get better year in and year out.  He was right.  I just sat there thanking God for His unbelievable goodness to me.  As I thought of the past few days and all that had happened, I was overcome by God's provision for me.  As I was thinking about Jim, he shows up with two half gallons of Turkey Hill Cherry Vanilla.  What a man, he is brilliant. We had a wonderful time reminiscing of all the things we had done together counting God's blessings as we went along and you guessed it, eating cherry vanilla ice cream. God is good.

Later in the day, Rob, Trish, and their four children came to spend the afternoon with us.  We had a delightful time.  During the afternoon a friend called and I was telling him about all the things God's was doing just to let me know that I was in his hand.  He commented "You must have caught God on a day he wasn't busy."  I got a great laugh out of the thought that God was bored and with nothing else to do, decided to show me a little love.  It is hard for people to believe that God really does love us and wants His best for us.  Late in the afternoon Tom Shea called and Beulah, as she gave me the phone, said he been trying to reach you all day.  I answered by saying "What do you want? Don't you know that I am busy dying?"  We had a great time of fellowship as I told him about all the things that had happened. We started swapping God stories and loving every minute of it.

Sunday June 10th, was another beautiful day.  I was looking forward to going to church.  We went into our usual service and sat close to our normal seat. Some one else was in our normal seat, I guess no one told them that was our seat. The song service began and I am singing and then crying trying to sing, tears running down both sides of my face.  I was being overwhelmed by the presence of God.  I was hoping nobody noticed me.  I didn't want them to think I was some kind of religious nut.  Then all of a sudden, I didn't care.  I just enjoyed being blessed by the Spirit.

This was our once a month Sunday, where a group of older folks got together after the service for lunch and fellowship.  As we were waiting for the ladies to get set up for lunch, one of the men asked me if I would be willing to share what was happening in my life.  I started my testimony with the quote I gave Tom, "What do you want? Don't you know that I am busy dying?"  I had a great time sharing all the heavenly kisses that God was blessing me with as I followed Him down this road.  After I finished speaking, everyone got up and gathered around me and placed their hands on me and prayed for healing and peace.  Beulah and I are not worried or concerned whatever the outcome for we knew He cares for us.

Later that afternoon Walt and Sue came to see us with their four wonderful children.  We enjoyed the fellowship.  While we were eating a man stop by to look at some work I needed his help to do.  During our time together I shared with him what God was doing in my life.  He replied " better you than me" and then he was embarrassed by what he said.  I said “Don't feel bad you were just telling the truth, and you are right better me than you.”  God had given me great joy in this time of very troubled water.  No more food for me until after surgery.

Monday morning June 11th, I woke up and the pain was gone. At first I carefully twisted the way the most pain was created. Nothing happened.  I twisted the other way, nothing.  I got out of bed and started doing all kind of things I couldn't do before.  The pain was gone.  It was 5:30am and I could hardly wait to call Rich.  I reached him just before I was going to leave for Fox Chase. "Rich the pain is gone".  I told him everything I had done.  He said, "You’ve been healed! I will call Farma and call everything off."  I said “Really?”  He said “No, did it ever occur to you that maybe God sent the pain to let you know you have a problem, and now that you are on your way to do as He leads, you no longer need the pain.”  Thank you Lord for the pain.

They were expecting me at Fox Chase.  It didn't take long before I was in the Pre-Op waiting for the OR.  My first visitor was the blood lady. I knew I was I in for trouble because it is not easy to find my veins.  When they do, the vein tends to roll around. They kept probing and probing until they hopefully were successful.  I am not easy normally, and this time was no exception. I had not had anything to eat or drink in the last 16 hours, and that tends to dehydrate you which makes it even harder to draw blood. But one thing I knew for sure, someone was going to make it happen, but it wasn't going to be the first lady that tried. In fact it was the third.

The anesthesiologist was a very nice friendly lady about the size of Beulah. She put in my IV port. In fact, she did one in each hand. I think she had a spread the pain mentality; she must have been a democrat.  She did it in such a friendly, cheerful manor that I couldn't help but like her. I thought to myself, she is ok.  My next visitor was a fourth year medical student from Temple. Nice young man, he told he was going to be observing and in the course of conversation said it was his first day. He had a very nice manner about him.

Dr. Rodriguez came next. I had noticed him in the Preop several times before. It looked like he was just waiting around. He wanted to know if I had any questions. I didn't. I didn't know enough about what was going to happen to ask any question. I did have one question. “Did you get a good night’s rest and do your hands feel steady.” He said yes to both so that was good enough for me. I felt that he wanted to do the best he possibly could and he really cared for me. A little later Dr. Farma showed up. I asked him the same questions. He said he was ready and I was waiting for the referee to blow the whistle for kickoff. The cheerful, friendly lady came in and said she was giving me a half a shot of happy juice. Beulah and Suzie gave me a kiss and then off to the OR.

I briefly saw the OR, they kept me awake long enough so I could help them get my body on the OR table. Then it was bye-bye for me. I woke up in recovery and it seemed like that was the signal for the start of the grand prix for my room. I don't how fast we were going but I thought I could smell rubber. My next thought was that I was hurting and then I realized they were going to make the switch from gurney to bed. I knew this was going to hurt. They even exceeded my expectations, it really hurt. I was moaning and groaning and then they want my pain number. A pain number is a number from 1 to 10 that best describes your pain. 1 indicates very little, 10 indicates the worst pain you have ever had and they medicate you accordingly.  I told them it only hurts when I move, meaning don't move me again.  Something went into my IV and I was getting loopy.  Through it all I noticed that Beulah, Suzie, Walt and Lauren, my granddaughter was in the room as well as a deep voice behind the curtain that chimes into our conversation as if it was a part of all that was going on.  Lauren gave me a hug and kiss (she always acts like she loves me), I told her she was beautiful and thank her for coming.  I was told later that I was passing out the love freely during that part of my recovery.  I knew I was loopy but I thought I had everything under control.  Come to think of it, I pretty much think like that all the time.  I must be on some kind of drug that I don't know about, but I was glad to be back with my family. In time I realized that it was around 10 pm and I must have been the last operation that day.  Glad it was over.  I tried to pick up my right leg.  The pain was enormous and I put that though out of mind immediately.  It was as if my body said, try that again and I am really going to hurt you, you idiot!!  I decided not to do it again.  Everyone left and in the quiet of the night the voice behind the curtain began to speak.

The voice turned out to be Dennis from New Jersey.  Dennis was a big man 6ft 3.5 inches and over 300 lbs. he was an electrical engineer, union man working for the state of New Jersey, age 42 and he had just had his prostate removed robotically.  His parents were from Hungary and he was a roman catholic.  He was a warm caring tender sort of man.  We had a great time fellowshipping together.  I was glad that over the past 7 yrs I had had the privilege of learning to love my catholic brothers and sisters in Christ.  I rejoice in what we believe together and minimized our differences.  I told Dennis that I would be having some visitors that would be praying over me, and he asked so beautifully, would they include me in their prayer?  I assured him that they would and drifted off to sleep.  It had been a long day with some many different and beautiful things to remember.  Thank you Lord, for holding me in the hollow of your hand.

Tuesday morning  June 12th,5:25am the voice behind the curtain asks, “Pat, are you awake?” I said, no are you awake.  We both chuckled, we couldn't laugh, it hurt too much.  Soon the activity started.  I was told I could order breakfast at 7am and I could have anything I wanted.  I was like a kid waiting for the candy store to open with a pocket full of money.  It was exciting.  Dennis's doctor arrived around 6am and gave Dennis a great report and said the therapist would be in soon.  She would have him up and walking the hall right away.  I couldn't see the face behind the curtain, but that thought was awful to me.  Mr. Big Pain was coming to our room today, and he was coming soon.

Just as predicted, the physical therapist showed for Dennis at about 6:30 am in the form of a 40ish woman that couldn't have weighed over 100 lbs.  The curtain was back now and I could see peripherally what was happening.  She stood between our beds and had Dennis turn toward me slide his feet to the floor.  Then she said ok Dennis I want you to stand up.  Dennis said he was a little dizzy.  She said no problem, I got you.  That is when I started to have some concern with what would happen next.  As Dennis began to rise to his feet I realized he was a big man, huge chest and head with wide shoulders and he was attempting to stand right across from my bed.  If he fell over on my bed he would fall right on my groin area that just got cut up the night before.  This was not pretty.  Dennis stood, he was unsteady, kind of wobbling around as his therapist hung on to him.  I knew if he fell forward she was a goner and I was in for some big big pain.  Somehow Dennis stayed upright and slowly turned to his right and she carefully guided him out of the room, stopping on the other side of my bed to tie his gown in the back.  Dennis's southern exposure was pretty significant.  Dennis was oblivious, he had his hands full with Mr. BigPain.  After that crisis, I ordered breakfast.  I didn't hold back.  Dr. Rodriguez entered the room and immediately started examining his art work, pushing and pulling taking off dressings and finally declaring that everything looked good and MY therapist would be in shortly. I think they just wait in the hall, because within seconds Mrs. Big Pain was standing by my bed. Ok Mr. Stillman it is time to get you up.  I couldn't remember anyone consulting me about this.  Oh she's got my leg and she is pulling it sideways to the opposite side of the bed.  I moan and groan but no mercy was to be had.  Thankfully before my body knew what happened I was sitting on the side of the bed.  Now it was time to stand.  It hurt, but not quite as bad as expected and then I was walking down recovery hall thanking God every step of the way.

When I got back to the room, they put me in a chair and breakfast was served.  God is good.  A little while later much before visitor time partners of mine, Bob Lauter and Dee Adcock showed up in my room. What a surprise!  We had a great time of fellowship, they took me in their hands and thanked God for what He was doing in my life.  It was wonderful.  After the prayer I whispered in their ears about Dennis and they went over and prayed with Dennis.  Tears rolled down my face as I watched and listened as they ministered to Dennis.  A little later Dr. Todd Williams, President of PBU and the next great leader in the cause for Christian education came to visit.  He brought an old prayer book, he read us his favorite prayer and then gave us the book as a gift.  It was beautiful.  A little later, my partner Ken Brown and DJ Stahl stopped by.  I said to DJ “you’ve probably never been to a place like this before”, he got a far away look in his eye and said “I’m acquainted with cancer”.  Ken had just lost his father to cancer and he told me he didn’t want to lose me.  I liked that thought.  It was great to see them, it was a blessing.  At around 6:00pm Rich and Jean came to visit.  Rich ordered dinner for everyone in the room.  We had a great time of reminiscing and enjoying each other’s fellowship and eating hospital food.  Thank you Lord.

My children Rob and Sue took over and blessed me with their care, thank you. Fox Chase Cancer Center and all the Doctors and staff that delivered my care, thank you.  I was basking in God goodness as I watched in thankfulness as your cards, emails, flowers, voice mails and visits with family and friends began to pour in blessing my soul. Beulah my dear wife of 50 years has been elevated through this experience from nurse wretched to nurse good heart.  She has been absolutely wonderful to me.  Thank you, Jesus, for Beulah.  She is my proverbs 31 woman.

I was discharged Wednesday June 13th. The incision was substantial and i had difficulty getting the wound to heal. I had to use a wound vac for about six weeks. This requires changing the dressing every other day. It takes about an hour.

On Aug. 27th I had my first of 25 radiation treatments. One treatment per day. I finished Oct. 1, and on Oct. 31st a PET scan was done and no cancer was found anywhere in my body. I am now cancer free.

Beulah has been my main caregiver and she's been wonderful. Feel free to stop by and visit. We will have a great time telling God stories. I have been compelled by the Spirit to write this story down.  Please feel free to share it with anyone.  Satan beats us up everyday constantly bringing up failures of the past, telling us we are not deserving of God's love.  God says He loves us, that we are in His care, that we can trust Him, that we are precious in His sight.  Why is it so hard to believed God?  Satan is that great deceiver who is dedicated to devouring any that will believe his lies.  God loves me and He demonstrates it all the time and this particular time opened my eyes and let me see that he held me in the hollow of His hand.


Bless others as God has blessed you,


Pat

James 1:2-4 Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.



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