"Encourage one another daily" (Hebrews 3:13).
A daily, Bible-based perspective of hope, encouragement and exhortation.

I will admit that I’ve never been good at seeing in the dark; I trip over everything and anything! I've nursed a lot of stubbed toes. Recently I tried going down the stairs in the dark, missed the last step, and let's just say hardwood floors were properly named hardwood! I'm fully recovered now but my face, hands, hip and knee can attest to the hardwood standing up to its name.


As a pre-teen I had the wonderful blessing of asking Jesus into my life. What an awesome experience it was, but soon after that I would seriously question God.


Then in my teens and early twenties I pulled away from God.  I believed in Him but didn't really see how life with God would benefit me. I got married and soon afterward found out that I had pre cervical cancer. I then had surgery and was told I might never have children. The news shattered me, but God was there. Three months after my surgery I went in for my post surgery follow up and, to my surprise, I was pregnant.

I began to look for a church to attend since now I was thinking, "Maybe God really does love me!" I know I needed Him since I could feel a missing piece in my life. It was good that I went back to living for Christ as I would soon face further darkness in my life. My husband was becoming irresponsible with life. He took up drinking and was often drunk. His friends were all that was important to him. He didn't even realize that something was physically wrong with me. My life was changing dramatically and he didn't even notice. I was seriously struggling to work full time as a nurse, keep house, and care for two young children.

On July 5th, 1998, my body decided it needed to sleep twenty hours.  This happened over the next two to three days as well. Finally it lessened to sixteen hours of sleep. This wasn't leaving much time for my family or going to work.

But God kept us safe many times as I drove home from working in Harrisburg and picked up the kids. He even helped me make supper as I would have to sit down on a stool to make spaghetti.  I would leave half-full carts of groceries in the store so I could get some sleep. I grew so fatigued I felt as though I would collapse. I ended up having to quit my jobs to keep us safer. All I wanted to do is lay down anywhere I could, and I do mean anywhere. No matter how hard I would try to stay awake I couldn’t. "What is happening to me?" I kept asking. But there were no answers.

I thought maybe it was mono or something, and it would get better soon. After all, several weeks had now passed. But several weeks turned into a couple of months.  Surely NOW it would get better; WRONG again! I prayed, my family prayed, my friends prayed.  But little did I know that God's plan was going to be different than my own. My condition, still undiagnosed, progressed from months into years. I saw almost every specialist and had almost every test in the book performed.

Thankfully God was with me and my faith in Him continued to grow. I needed something in my life to give me light in these darkest times. God did just that and kept me going when I wanted to quit! I mean really quit! I was now a 34 year old woman who now had very little to live for. But God carried me through those dark hours. I would call my parents; they were the strongest and most faithful people I knew. I would cry uncontrollably and repeatedly ask, "Why?" They always encouraged me and said, "Sheila never lose faith. God will never give you more than you can handle." But it sure did feel like He was. I felt like I was alone so many times.

Finally a sleep specialist diagnosed me to be a borderline narcoleptic (a chronic sleep disorder characterized by overwhelming daytime drowsiness and sudden attacks of sleep.) He prescribed a medication that would help me stay awake longer; only 14 hours of sleep a day. I call them my stay awake pills.

God blessed me with a sleep specialist and three others doctors that I still continue to see. They assured me that it wasn't just in my head; I wasn't crazy. Depression set in, though to me it was more of a frustration, but the doctors called it depression.

Because I look normal on the outside (except for the multiple bad hair days) people didn't know how badly I was feeling on a daily basis. If you've had the flu you can easily recall that your body aches, you can hardly get out of bed, etc. Well, that is how I have felt almost every day for the past two to three years.

My stay awake pills have made a big difference. Doctors have increased the dose to where I am today so that I now sleep anywhere from 10 to13 hours a day. I will admit I do ask, "Why so long?". But at least I can function now. I never forget to thank God for getting me this far. It took 8 years for a neurology specialist to finally diagnose my health problem. I've had a thyroid disorder since I was 18 where my immune system thinks my thyroid is a foreign object. It keeps attacking and destroying it. This disorder (Hashimoto's Syndrome) normally stays in the thyroid, however, my immune system became similar to Lupus (a chronic inflammatory disease) and has moved. It is now starting to attack my brain and hearing.

But at least I now have some idea about what is going on in my body. Praise the Lord for that. They started me on a medication to slow down the immune system somewhat which has helped me feel better.

Because I was pushing myself too much, I had a nervous breakdown just over a year ago. It's hard for me to talk about this, but God pulled me through this crisis as well. As I listen to Christian music every morning on my way to the daylong hospital therapy sessions God speaks to me. I'm not a poet but God gave me the words to a poem several months ago that I give out at the health facility hoping that it touches just one life.

It will be twelve years this July that I have been enduring my sleep disorder. With the help of medication some days are better than others, but I thank God every day for giving me faith and the light to see through the darkness. My 30's are a blur, but life isn't over yet. I'm so thankful to my parents for the rocks they are to me, for my caring sister and friends who pray for me.

As I've shared my story with you I've taken off the mask I wear.  I live in pain, I'm terribly fatigued every day and the smile I wear is not real 60% of the time. I often don’t feel much joy. But I am OK since I know that God has a plan for me. I don't know what it is yet, but by faith I know there is one in progress, and I am starting to be able to see through the darkness of my illness!  Darkness does not have the power to overcome light but this doesn't mean that darkness won't attempt to overcome the light.

So I encourage you to stay with the Lord no matter your circumstances, Never give up, though you may be tempted just as I have been.  Never give in to the darkness.

To me the darkness is evil and I will not give the evil one the pleasure of dwelling in me! Jesus will always be my shining light, no matter how dim that light may shine through.  May you shine Your light for Jesus always and forever, and no matter how dim the light, don’t lose faith. God has a plan for you to see even in the darkness.


"Living today anchored in God's solid foundation"